Exercise: Telling a story. Part 3

Repeat the process with a story of your own

I thought long and hard as to what story I would tell for this section of the exercise. I had some ideas of scenes in my head that would suit, but I realised that most of them were just vignettes, part of a story, just a short scene, etc. I had noticed that other students had told longer stories, and episodes, even anecdotes. I thought again, trawling through my own mental library of a good story to tell.

What is the story?
I decided upon one that a friend of mine reminded me recently, from my younger past. One perhaps I am not too proud of, but amusing all the same. So cast your mind back to 1990, at the time of the alternative rock music revolution when I was lead vocalist of grunge punk band Allison’s Birthday and we had played a great gig the night before in the Sussex city of Brighton. Early the next day I awoke very hungover so decided some hair of the dog would sort me. Heading down towards the beach with a bottle of fortified wine, and despite the warnings of my band mates not to sit too near the rough sea, I found myself dragged off into the sea by a wave. The journey home in the van, soaking wet, much to the mocking laughter of my bandmates, I will never forget.

What information is conveyed in each frame?
1. It’s morning time and I’m heading off to the beach , with a bottle of strong booze.
2. Half an hour later, laying down on the beach, enjoying the buzz of the drink, oblivious to the waves lapping upon the beach.
3. My band mate and his girlfriend spot me from the promenade and call out to me to be careful.
4. Too late, a big freezing-cold wave, drags me off the beach and into the sea.
5. Surviving my ordeal, but soaked to the bone, I sit in the car with my bass player driving whilst he and his girlfriend mock and laugh at me all the way home.

What information is necessary to understand the story?
Its essential to express that I am drinking rather early in the morning and I’m heading to the beach.  (Might I just say that it is summer time but the weather is overcast and its slightly windy that day.) My friends warn me that it could be dangerous. My drawing skills fail as I attempt Frame 4, but I hope that what I have drawn covers the basic idea of the wave taking me off. Essential also is to show the smiling faces of my mocking friends on the way home. ( I changed the vehicle from a van to a car, simply again from my sketching inability.

What essential information has been left out and/or what is included unnecessarily?
I left out the fact that I was hungover.
Perhaps the wording and maybe the time clocks could appear unnecessary. I invite other students’ comments to ascertain what they felt was missed out/unnecessary.

Washed Away

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6 thoughts on “Exercise: Telling a story. Part 3

  1. Ah what a funny story, and I feel bad saying it but it’s even funnier that it’s true 🙂 I can imagine the scenario on the way back with them all laughing and you soaking wet 😛 From the course point of view each frame was devised carefully and cleverly and I understood everything that was going on. The final frame is definitely my favourite.

    On a music note, awesome you were in a rock band. Are you still? What position did you play? I love playing the guitar.

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      • You’re welcome 🙂

        Ah nice it’s your band, that’s awesome. The music is great and the graphics really fun. Do you play in gigs and things like that? The music is write is more folky, you can see it here https://soundcloud.com/chloeclik I’m learning Apache on the electric guitar at the moment.

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      • Your music is very pleasant to listen to, thanks for sharing it with me.
        Yes I have done many many gigs over the years although I’m having a break from it all this year. I’ve partially damaged my voice and also a lot of things in my life have changed in the last year so a break is seriously necessary.
        Apache is a splendid tune..

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  2. And thought you just studied wine ! It’s a great story, simply told. I had a look at the storyboard before reading what you had written. The only thing that confused me, until I read what you wrote, was why the people were laughing afterwards – it looked as if you had nearly drowned, so I assumed everyone was concerned – apparently not – nice friends you have there :-).
    I think the amount of info you put into your storyboard is enough to tell the story without an unnecessary detail.

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    • Sadly nobody was concerned. I was just the butt of the entire band’s jokes at the next practice. I got my revenge, over time I replaced the entire band. ( hehehe ) – or rather they all left on their own accord eventually…

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